Dears,
It’s been a while. Again. As frustrating as it can get not sharing as often as I “want to” on the blog, I honor the cycles of pause. Also, there is A LOT happening in my life that, in due time, I will also share with you on this platform. Living in a heightened state of lack of security and stability certainly also influences my creativity.
But besides life circumstances and life lifing, I notice that every time I take a “break” from writing, I get closer to my motivations and my fears. I feel like there’s a split in my writing that I’m still reconciling with. Some fears will manifest themselves in “sabotaging” behaviors such as inconsistency – for what would happen when you do commit fully to what you want to do? What would happen if you were to start getting the attention your writing deserves as a result of your commitment? What would happen if you become a reliable resource people know they can return to, often, for (new) content intended to help, educate and inspire? How comfortable are you with being noticed? You see, sometimes the fear of being seen is more overwhelming than not getting noticed or the impression that nobody really cares. My blog statistics show me people do care. Now the questions is: am I going to show up more frequently? I’m finally working through these questions and inhibitions.
I want to share one of my recent reflections from my Journal Entries. The world feels heavy and its heaviness is weighing on me. I was reminded to go to The Heartbeat. And I want to share this with you.
This time around, I want to share a Journal Entry I wrote back in November:
22 November 2023, 11:35AM.
Making space… Sometimes it’s difficult to make space to feel and sit with what will come up once you allow yourself to indulge in feeling. I understand why we run; I get why we escape. We seek temporary comfort in what seems to feel like a permanent hell. Turmoils of emotions, one after the other. And even when we think we have come a long way in learning to regulate ourselves, we get hit with the waves of the collective.
Can we fully heal in a permanent hell? Can we fully resolve and stay balanced when so much is out of balance in the world? And if so, how?
The permanence of undesirable states and ways in the world is not as constant as change.
And if you were to take it one heartbeat at a time, feeling present within your heart and less anxious in your mind, you would find ways to stay balanced in spite of so much terror, pain, and misery. Unlocking peace is not something to aspire to in the long term; it is something to live in the present moment – and only in the present moment.
When you dare to face the present moment and all it asks from you – including your tears and fears and concerns, as opposed to running from when you sense discomforts and frustrations, you reduce all the bigness and overwhelmingness of life happening to the heartbeat. Go to the heartbeat. The heartbeat won’t change what is happening, but it will provide you with what the moments of your life ask of you. In a heartbeat.
After sitting with this message, I wondered, how often do we stop to actually feel our heartbeat? How often do we slow down to hear the rhythm of our hearts? I know I don’t often stop to hear my own heartbeat. That has been changing now.
I was re-reading the Power of Now (great book!), and Eckhart Tolle noted that our degree of presence influences our quality of life. That was quite insightful and made me think about the quality of my life. There are many ways to get to being present in the now and refocusing our beings to the present moment.
My recently recommended “heartbeat” method, that is, slowing down to feel your heartbeat, is one I’m going to now try out and see how it will help me stay present more often. Eckhart Tolle also suggested focusing on your surroundings, like a plant, and giving it your full attention as a way to be fully present. Maybe those will work for you. There are many ways to regain presence – and that’s a good thing!
Remaining present in moments where our minds can spiral into pessimism as we look at the world going through a huge dark night of the soul may help us stay sane in an insane world and perhaps even come up with solutions within our capacities. The world is heavy at this moment. It’s been heavy for some time now. But I don’t want to give up on it, and I don’t want it to wear me down. So I’ll go to the heartbeat when I feel overwhelmed, and pray that I will do what’s asked of me at the perfect time to contribute to the betterment of it.
With love,
Jun 💚
P.S. From the river to the sea, all of mankind will be free. Including Congo. Sudan. Haiti. Palestine. Humanity.
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