“Not everything that shines is gold” is a saying that many of us are familiar with. While we all know this universal truth, I recently had an experience that gave the notion of beneath the surface a whole new meaning. I spent an entire week in throbbing pain, and went from a toothache on a Friday to a root canal treatment by the next one. As I’m writing this, two days after the root canal, I find it amazing to have experienced how much pain and trouble one tooth can cause when left unchecked and untreated.

The thing is, on the outside, I have a gorgeous smile with beautiful teeth. But on a deeper layer, there was one tooth that was registered since 2017 by my dentist as delicate. I had symptoms, admittedly, that something was off with the tooth, but I ignored them. Until I couldn’t anymore.

Once my dentist opened my tooth for the treatment, a rotten smell came out. Not only was the tooth delicate, but by the time I had the root canal, it was dead. I’d like to believe that lessons can be found in many experiences, and so my experience with the dead tooth made me reflect on a couple of things that became the building blocks for this post.

Not everything is what it seems

For starters, I find it fascinating how beneath such gorgeous smile was a dead, rotten tooth that stank horribly. Nobody could ever tell, for the outside is beautiful. And I don’t have stinky breath. This makes me think of how often we see things, people, situations on the outside and have no idea what is happening on the inside. From places that we covet to work at, to people we want to befriend, I was reminded that not everything is what is seems. More often than not, there is more than what meets the eye.

From personal explorations to engaging with the world around us, I was reminded not to let the shiny, put-together, seemingly flawless fool me; there may be deeper parts that may be unhealthy to say the least. The takeaway? Remain discerning, and don’t believe only and all you can see, for outside says nothing about the inside.

Don’t be afraid to dig deeper

Secondly, this entire experience was an invitation to not be afraid to dig deeper to find hidden truths, as scary or confronting as it may initially seem. Digging deeper has different meanings depending on the context. But I think that curiosity is the first step to “dig deeper.” Dare to ask questions. Dare to do the uncomfortable work before not doing the work turns into pain. Dare to face your own rotten beauty so your outside can match your inside. If you dig deep enough, you will find truths that are hidden and buried that may need to be excavated and resolved before continuing more stable and healthily forward.

When we stop being afraid to look at our own rotten beauty — the parts of us that are not as pretty as we may think or pretend them to be — we can face the world’s rotten beauty with more honesty and compassion. For exploring parts of us that are unhealthy, toxic and stinky will ask for a lot of compassion. I promise you, doing the uncomfortable work of sitting with our mess and healing it, will not only benefit us, but also help heal the world. It will teach you grace— and this grace will be extended beyond yourself. Sometimes, like the case of my tooth, we may need external help to get there. Don’t be afraid of that either.

Don’t ignore the signs

Lastly, don’t ignore the signs. We often know when something is not right, when something is too good to be true, when there is more to the story than just what we are shown. Whether you want it to or not, sooner or later, you can’t ignore what’s not right. Either you face it, or it will face you. It will face you when it shows up, much like my tooth, causing you lots of pain — demanding you to deal with it.

So much of our suffering is a direct consequence of our actions or lack thereof. In being truthful to yourself, being curious, and digging deeper, you can avoid unnecessary suffering, much like I could have avoided a week of pain had I dealt with the tooth sooner.

Sit with the delicate before it rottens.

With love,
Jun 🤍