It’s been too long. I wandered off, entertaining spaces that are not anything like home. Spaces that don’t feel as sanctified as my digital sanctuary. I guess wandering off will remind you of home at some point.

It will soon be a year since I published my first book—Soul Poetry Volume I: The Return. And admittedly, I’ve felt a bit all over the place since its publication. I birthed a book, can I blame myself for my post-partum self? Feeling lost while anchored, not knowing the next step while taking steps?

As I write these words, I feel no rush to be anything but my beautiful self. I missed this. I feel no rush to measure my impact in terms of likes, follows, subscribers… No. I can simply create for the sheer pleasure of creating. I don’t want to spend time on marketing, strategizing, meticulous planning, trends and hypes to hop on, virality… Ugh, just thinking about it exhausts me. The pursuit of fame is draining as one is always negotiating what will “hit” the sweet spot of the masses. It’s draining as creation becomes secondary while metrics and numbers take the lead.

The Return came to existence because of my need to create – not fame, fortune or even recognition. It’s a beautiful creation that was brought to life through me with much much much love. I don’t need it to be a best-seller, much like I don’t need a million viewers for my creations to be worthy. May I remember this—that I don’t create to get or prove anything—as I commit to creating more consistently and birth ideas that have yet to be planted in me.

Home, upgraded

The thing about having one’s own corner on the internet is that one has full control on what goes on there.

I can write “FUCK” inconsequentially.
I can say “FREE PALESTINE” without getting shadow banned.
I don’t need to filter myself whatsoever.
I can go off – and God knows how badly I want to go off.

If this isn’t freedom, what is? If this isn’t safety, what is? This is the safest space for my thoughts online. This is a holy space for my creativity. I smile as I type and rejoice as I remember how good it feels to be HOME—in one’s own space. In one’s sanctuary.

Unlike borrowed spaces that have their landscapes that one must adapt to, this digital sanctuary is a space where I decide and define what matters. Somehow, I guess, I forgot that I have 100% say in what goes in here. There aren’t even community guidelines (except for the ones that I make).

Thinking about the word ‘sanctuary’ as it pertains to my blog, I asked Gemini (my AI assistant) about the essence of a sanctuary. Here is what Gemi told me:

The essence of a sanctuary, both traditionally and in a digital context, revolves around these core ideas:

• Safety and Refuge: At its heart, a sanctuary is a place of safety and protection from external harm, judgment, or noise. It’s a refuge where you can escape the pressures and chaos of the outside world.
• Sacredness and Consecration: Historically, sanctuaries were often sacred, holy places, set apart for worship or spiritual retreat.
• Peace and Serenity: A sanctuary offers a sense of calm and tranquility. It’s a place where you can breathe, reflect, and find inner harmony.
• Authenticity and Self-Expression: In a true sanctuary, you can be your genuine self without fear of judgment.
• Nourishment and Growth: Just as a physical sanctuary might offer spiritual or emotional nourishment, your digital sanctuary should be a place where you grow, learn, and feel creatively fulfilled. It’s where you cultivate your ideas and contribute to something lasting.

Everything that Gemi said is what I want this space to be. And so it is.

10 years in the making

This year will be 10 years since I launched JunealHolder.blog. It took me almost 10 years to get to this point. But now that I have, and with the current consciousness I’m writing, I can’t wait to see how this space will reflect this version of me.

This is a place for us to slow down and read. Think. Reflect. Ponder. Grow. When visitors leave my Sanctuary, I want them to leave replenished. I want them to leave with the sweet taste of a time well spent as they think about what they just engaged with. I want readers to leave this platform feeling heard, helped, educated and/or inspired.

I’ve written about my lack of consistency more than once. But this return, this back home after a while, hits differently. It feels more rooted, more decisive. As if my soul reminded me why I have a website for almost a decade now. As online spaces get overcrowded in a fast-paced digital world, and common social networking platforms become race-spaces for attention, this Digital Sanctuary is my refuge from the unsustainably fast infrastructures around me. I don’t need to rush a word. I don’t need to be anything but myself.

Here, my sea turtle energy, my Sun & Mercury in Taurus, my Rising in Pisces, my Moon & Jupiter in Scorpio (iykyk, shit’s intense but rewarding)—and all the other many elements that make me Juneal can be in peace.

I can be rooted in steadiness on my own pace. And this, I missed. May we all slow down in this race to nowhere. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

With much love,
Juneal

P.S. I’ve made some changes. Peep the new logo – it’s an invite if you sit with it. I’m SO EXCITED to work with this energy.