When Old Emotions Resurface in New Life Phases

Dears,

I find it fascinating how sometimes, even as some things are not new, we remember them as if they were. While browsing through some old creations that never made it online some months ago, I found a very vulnerable Soul Poetry piece that I wrote several years ago. I read those words from completely a different emotional place. Because I couldn’t “relate” to those emotions I wrote about anymore, I didn’t think much of it. Until recently, that is.

I don’t know if it’s the upcoming Full Moon in Cancer that’s stirring up some of my own waterside (Moon sign in Scorpio over here), or the North Node entering Pisces, or some residual pain that has yet to find its way out and there is finally space for that, but whatever it is – I’ve been emotional as fuck these past couple of days.

Then I thought about those words I had written some years ago that I couldn’t relate to last time I read them – “feeling my way towards healing.” I looked back to them, and what doesn’t resonate with my physical reality is resonating with my emotional one. Why do I say this? If you ask me, I’m good. In my immediate physical reality, life is good. Like, there’s nothing happening that I can point out to be a trigger for such seemingly intense reactions. But still, I’ve been crying. Lots of tears. I have yet to journal and sit with the depths of these emotions what they want to communicate to me. But before I do that, I want to alchemize the raw energy I’ve been feeling into something tangible.

The emotional intensity sometimes that simply feeling [emotions] can bring can be overwhelming to the psyche. I sense that these days have been examples of such intense and overwhelming kind of days. But I go go back to what I said: I’m good. I must emphasize this, because we often connect emotions – particularly tears – with sadness or that something must be “wrong.”

This wave of emotions I’m going through is reminding me that even as you may be in a good phase and space in your life, some emotions that may not seem fitting – emotions you may even consider as “old” compared to your “new” reality – may resurface. I’m living a “beautifully curated life”, like my friend said, yet I found myself crying and very emotional these past few days. This doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. This wave of emotions is, in fact, contributing to a life worth living.

As I’m riding the waves and transmuting them into this post, I grace myself with permission to feel what needs to be felt. I honor that the journey is nonlinear and sometimes we will revisit some emotions to soothe our selves from a different place. I also celebrate that my emotions communicate with me that I am alive. And unlike many people think, I embrace that there are no “good” or “bad” emotions – they simply are. We have preferences over them, that’s true, but they simply are.

Because emotions are universal to the human experience, here are the words of the Soul Poetry piece for you too.